All of us if not most of us have at one point or another faced an awkward moment or even worse were embarrassed on behalf of another(if that is even English or grammatically correct) so a case in point today....Am walking minding my own business and as i just make a turn,a guy is peeping(i lack an euphemism for this) just by the road,sees me and wraps it up and walks on like nothing just happened.I pause,petrified for a second ,wondering if i should just turn back and assume I didn't see anything or just whisk by in a frenzy and act all composed,'normal',maybe a smile here,a blank glance there and go on my way
I know you are wondering what exactly transpired this morning,well,I hesitated a bit but in my indecisiveness he walks on so I follow behind and of course reduce my pace so as not to catch up with him.This proves futile as am a fast walker so I end up getting ahead not in anyway to make him shrink but had to be somewhere and am getting late and for a second I wonder why am the one feeling all embarrassed and I didn't do anything,he he.
It beats me how one can act in ways that make us want to crack up the universe and disappear deep into oblivion which begs the question what makes one thing embarrassing and the other totally 'okay'.Is it contextual,age related,a set of norms of dos and donts,protocol maybe,plain common sense,or simply based on the kind of reactions that we get from those around that makes the 'embarrometer'(embarrassment meter) to blink!
Kids,for one,especially toddlers are usually free and do whatever they deem fit and no one sees a problem with it.The have the privilege of undressing in the middle of the living room whilst visitors are very present!They can sit in whatever position they are most in comfortable in,eat in whatever style they find fun and so much more.So am trying to imagine how parents deal with such situations,do they dismiss them as just a joke and carry on with their hospitality.How about the guests in question,what do they do?As we all grew up to be adults and what have you,it is said or rather believed that we begin to get a general sense of right and wrong and we avoid certain behaviors because they are considered 'shameful' and we pursue patterns that are considered ordinary and acceptable.
All these then leads to matters of topic so that we question what issues would we rather shy away from and resign that they are 'sensitive',not exactly embarrassing,for we do not want to raise an alert,an alarm that will flutter a myriad of negative perceptions about who we are,our core values especially those with egocentric tendencies.
Some societies still find it daunting to discuss aspects that pertain to our sexuality,physical defects,and even for some,health concerns.If you are continuing to read this then I salute you for some gave up in the introduction section for the term 'peeping' was just not something they could not stomach,a total turn off,quite embarrassing for their taste.It is understandable in the sense that we have our presuppositions on almost every issue before we dig in to find out facts.I would never advocate for one to share with all and sundry all the aspects of their lives and that's why we have close friends or family for that and for some secret diaries.
In this day and age,where do we draw the line between being explicit or too closed off,being callous or too sensitive,living in ignorance or basking in the extreme light of self awareness?Without us even knowing it,we all have placed certain 'unwritten rules' on people at social events,at home,school,at work and even in the public arena so that we expect and to a great extent demand that they withhold a particular standard of decorum. Embarrassing moments are usually taken to be'isolated incidences' so that one says that it is something that has never happened before so when we break these societal rules that hang about us like a dark cloud are we to be discarded as lacking class.Like when your child is throwing a tantrum at a supermarket when you cant afford to buy something she wants or when you give a rather 'silly' answer to a question in class and even if the lecturer insists that no response is wrong you somehow cave in and batter yourself for even speaking up in the first place.
So where does it end?Embarrassment is part of us,some great thinkers have been quoted in the past saying : 'If you have never been hurt or embarrassed then you are not living life'.In essence it means you are not a risk taker so does this mean we go looking for embarrassing scenarios to prove that we can come out of them with our faces plastered in victorious smiles?
What do you consider embarrassing?lets talk...
Sunday, 23 June 2013
Saturday, 22 June 2013
The Language Twist during Hard Financial Times
THE LANGUAGE TWIST DURING HARD FINANCIAL TIMES
Most of us, if not all have at one point or another gone through financial crisis and meltdowns. Times when budgeting proved daunting and you just couldn't buy every ‘necessary’ thing no matter how you strived to prioritize the language automatically changes without us even being in the know.
All of a sudden food is not really a major necessity. You hear comments like whoever said ‘breakfast is the most important meal of the day’ was not a 21st century trained and licensed nutritionist.Breakfast,lunch and supper no longer go by their distinct names but become ‘meals’ so that if one is missed it’s not really a big deal. One discovers that pishori tastes better even without stew just a dash of salt as amazingly that is the last item to go.Royco become a luxury with statements like : ‘I like my food natural’. The nutritional fact that sugar feeds cancer becomes a reality thus plain tea becomes fashionable.
For ladies, salons are avoided like the plague and wigs are the ‘in thing’ or simply we go back to our African roots and prefer our kinky hair and say we love being authentic.
Credit of course becomes scarce thus our personalities become introverted and we say we like our ‘peace and quiet’ or due to lack of internet bundles we assert that we are not that into Facebook or Twitter ('twira') and that social networking and more so technology is a drag and hinders us from the beautiful moments of just living life and enjoying every second of it. We prefer to call once in a blue moon than text every other day when we cannot consistently subscribe to free texts.
We decide that walking is the healthiest and easiest exercise known to man when there is no fare to move around town. Visiting friends becomes a deliberative task so that we categorize them into groups so that we weigh if it is worth going through all the trouble of seeing them. ‘Chilling at home’ becomes the latest hobby additions so that we wage war against outdoor activities with excuses like the weather is risky or the sun is not good for our skin. We say that we have ‘specific events’ that we attend so no need to attend every other event listed on the social calendar.
In matters wardrobe, we say that with fewer clothes it is easier to maintain our closets thus no need for that extra pair of jeans or wedges. We flip through fashion magazines and we wonder how one can spend that much money on a single dress, a dress that is worn once and never to be touched again. We go on pointing fingers at celebrities, the rich and famous and wonder how they have all that money despite their global philanthropic tendencies.
In religious circles, it is a hard debate with our maker of how you have been a diligent giver in the past and that He should understand where you are coming from when you offerings become minimal or to extreme cases non existence. Women talk of how 'chamas' are not for everyone especially if it is their turn to give their dues.
Financial hardships to a great extent shed light on what is beneficial in our lives and what is simply a waste.However,no sooner are we loaded again that we go back to the same habits and lose the critical eye and we realize it is just a cycle. Let’s hope it is not vicious...LOL.
Most of us, if not all have at one point or another gone through financial crisis and meltdowns. Times when budgeting proved daunting and you just couldn't buy every ‘necessary’ thing no matter how you strived to prioritize the language automatically changes without us even being in the know.
All of a sudden food is not really a major necessity. You hear comments like whoever said ‘breakfast is the most important meal of the day’ was not a 21st century trained and licensed nutritionist.Breakfast,lunch and supper no longer go by their distinct names but become ‘meals’ so that if one is missed it’s not really a big deal. One discovers that pishori tastes better even without stew just a dash of salt as amazingly that is the last item to go.Royco become a luxury with statements like : ‘I like my food natural’. The nutritional fact that sugar feeds cancer becomes a reality thus plain tea becomes fashionable.
For ladies, salons are avoided like the plague and wigs are the ‘in thing’ or simply we go back to our African roots and prefer our kinky hair and say we love being authentic.
Credit of course becomes scarce thus our personalities become introverted and we say we like our ‘peace and quiet’ or due to lack of internet bundles we assert that we are not that into Facebook or Twitter ('twira') and that social networking and more so technology is a drag and hinders us from the beautiful moments of just living life and enjoying every second of it. We prefer to call once in a blue moon than text every other day when we cannot consistently subscribe to free texts.
We decide that walking is the healthiest and easiest exercise known to man when there is no fare to move around town. Visiting friends becomes a deliberative task so that we categorize them into groups so that we weigh if it is worth going through all the trouble of seeing them. ‘Chilling at home’ becomes the latest hobby additions so that we wage war against outdoor activities with excuses like the weather is risky or the sun is not good for our skin. We say that we have ‘specific events’ that we attend so no need to attend every other event listed on the social calendar.
In matters wardrobe, we say that with fewer clothes it is easier to maintain our closets thus no need for that extra pair of jeans or wedges. We flip through fashion magazines and we wonder how one can spend that much money on a single dress, a dress that is worn once and never to be touched again. We go on pointing fingers at celebrities, the rich and famous and wonder how they have all that money despite their global philanthropic tendencies.
In religious circles, it is a hard debate with our maker of how you have been a diligent giver in the past and that He should understand where you are coming from when you offerings become minimal or to extreme cases non existence. Women talk of how 'chamas' are not for everyone especially if it is their turn to give their dues.
Financial hardships to a great extent shed light on what is beneficial in our lives and what is simply a waste.However,no sooner are we loaded again that we go back to the same habits and lose the critical eye and we realize it is just a cycle. Let’s hope it is not vicious...LOL.
A 'Phone-less' Society'?
‘Without my phone I feel so lost…like a part of me is missing’. A statement we so often blurt out when we lose our phones, either at an event or due to our precarious tendencies. I am careful not to call it carelessness for I am one of ‘those people so I will tread extra carefully, tiptoe delicately.
Our society has been called a number of things…a paperless society thanks to the beauty of technology. We are referred to as a heartless bunch with capitalism being the engine of our advancements in economy. Shameless is another with the extent we use the internet to share every aspect of our lives to the world even when they would care less and with that another descriptive nature comes out. Being 'phone-less' is a term yet to be official with phones being part and parcel of our everyday living, the very intricate part of our personalities, communication needs, business transactions and so much more. Our phones are our banks, dating hot spots…blog spot and every ‘spot’ imaginable. Some of us sleep with our phones at our bedsides, a little bit like having a pet and some never turn it off even for a micro second. For those of us who love communication sometimes we are petrified when we are away from our phones especially when we want to know everything about everything…news,weather,sports,entertainment…you name it. With citizen journalism on the rise, anyone can be a journalist and inform the world on any topic.
A research done by Pew Internet Project in America and which applies to any nation reveals that 67% of cell owners keep checking their phone even when it’s not buzzing,44% sleep with their phones in case of messages while 29% were quoted as literally saying that they can’t imagine living without their phones. This then begs the question: what is in a phone that makes it so valuable? I, for one felt like my world was on a stand still when I lost my phone. It was as if breathing became more difficult by each passing day like I was in a bad dream and I would eventually wake up and my phone will still be there. You might think I am referring to a lost love but am talking about a Nokia 2600-c, not even an android. Later I got an android phone and I thought that maybe that was a blessing in disguise as they say. One wonders is the sense of loss so real because the phone was cool and highly expensive or it is just the many things one is unable to do when the phone is gone. If you are a researcher out there and you are definitely reading this then that might be a niche to consider in your prestigious field, he he.
The funny thing is we complain of how we are so empty without our phones and as soon as we get a new one a sense of normalcy is restored and overtime we don’t think about it anymore and we chase after other things until we lose our phones again and the cycle goes on and on. I have been unable to understand how people have been surviving without phones before, how did they manage for real?!Before I got my first phone all I ever dreamed of was owning one and once I did I hoped to have a laptop then…once I get that I have no idea what is next, he he.
Who am I without my phone? Am I just a boring chic who is not into texting, Whatsap and Facebook and what have you…’analog’ as most would say. With most people fond of strutting around town with phones in hand, it is definitely something that is here to stay….Who are you without your phone?
Our society has been called a number of things…a paperless society thanks to the beauty of technology. We are referred to as a heartless bunch with capitalism being the engine of our advancements in economy. Shameless is another with the extent we use the internet to share every aspect of our lives to the world even when they would care less and with that another descriptive nature comes out. Being 'phone-less' is a term yet to be official with phones being part and parcel of our everyday living, the very intricate part of our personalities, communication needs, business transactions and so much more. Our phones are our banks, dating hot spots…blog spot and every ‘spot’ imaginable. Some of us sleep with our phones at our bedsides, a little bit like having a pet and some never turn it off even for a micro second. For those of us who love communication sometimes we are petrified when we are away from our phones especially when we want to know everything about everything…news,weather,sports,entertainment…you name it. With citizen journalism on the rise, anyone can be a journalist and inform the world on any topic.
A research done by Pew Internet Project in America and which applies to any nation reveals that 67% of cell owners keep checking their phone even when it’s not buzzing,44% sleep with their phones in case of messages while 29% were quoted as literally saying that they can’t imagine living without their phones. This then begs the question: what is in a phone that makes it so valuable? I, for one felt like my world was on a stand still when I lost my phone. It was as if breathing became more difficult by each passing day like I was in a bad dream and I would eventually wake up and my phone will still be there. You might think I am referring to a lost love but am talking about a Nokia 2600-c, not even an android. Later I got an android phone and I thought that maybe that was a blessing in disguise as they say. One wonders is the sense of loss so real because the phone was cool and highly expensive or it is just the many things one is unable to do when the phone is gone. If you are a researcher out there and you are definitely reading this then that might be a niche to consider in your prestigious field, he he.
The funny thing is we complain of how we are so empty without our phones and as soon as we get a new one a sense of normalcy is restored and overtime we don’t think about it anymore and we chase after other things until we lose our phones again and the cycle goes on and on. I have been unable to understand how people have been surviving without phones before, how did they manage for real?!Before I got my first phone all I ever dreamed of was owning one and once I did I hoped to have a laptop then…once I get that I have no idea what is next, he he.
Who am I without my phone? Am I just a boring chic who is not into texting, Whatsap and Facebook and what have you…’analog’ as most would say. With most people fond of strutting around town with phones in hand, it is definitely something that is here to stay….Who are you without your phone?
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